Getting Objective

In May, I completed a two year training program in Bowen Family Systems Theory. (See link to the Bowen Center for more information.) Since then, I have been on a mission to incorporate this theory into my day to day life. Basically, my two major goals have been to keep levels of anxiety in my family low and to get more objective about my family, including my family of origin, my nuclear family and the family I am married into.

My understanding of "getting neutral" and/or objective in one's family has to do with removing one's self from the emotional process and seeing things more clearly in a way that is not clouded by feelings. This is a fascinating and somewhat elusive process, as most of us operate from a feeling state much of the time. I must say that since I have started working on this, my own state of being has fluctuated. I am, at times, more calm. I am, at times, filled with rage. I am, at other times, struck by how difficult it is to understand my own brain and how and why it works the way it does.

One of the things I have been struggling with on a regular basis of late has to do with the fact that so few people in the world that I live in seem to struggle with anything. Then I struggle with feeling so judgemental. Do I need to feel that I am one of only a few people who are thinking in order to boost my sense of self? Probably. So I am working on accepting people, all people, for who they are and trying to get more objective about all people in the world.

It is hard to imagine how many thoughts fly through my head on a daily basis. I sense an impending "mid-life" crisis.

I am forcing myself to write because I know that deep down I am probably a frustrated writer.