Tuesday, September 18, 2007

My Perfect Day in Carmel

My children, in answer to your questions that you probably won't remember asking: "Where are you?" "Why do you have to go?" This is where I was and this is why I had to go. Someday I pray you have the gift of time, as I have had this day. If I have taught you nothing else, I would be so content knowing that you are able to spend time alone and enjoy your own company, that you feel safe enough in the world we are so blessed to live in to venture out and explore and appreciate the life we are so fortunate to live.

Got up. Took an exercise class. Came back to the hotel. Showered. Dressed. Drove to Carmel, marveling at the scenic drive. Shopped. No deadlines, except moving the car from the pay lot at 2:17 p.m. Wandered. Browsed. No deadlines. Went to a tiny tea shop for scones, tea and breakfast. Read the paper. Ate. Wandered some more. Time to move the car. Moved the car. Wandered more. Large latte. Lemon poppy seed cake. Time to drive down to the beach. Found a parking spot. Sat on the beach. Listened to the waves. Lay down. Eyes closed. Breezy. Waves crashing. Could have stayed like this for a long time. Stayed and stayed. Anxiety creeps in. Chase it away. Easy to do. Waves crashing. Breeze blowing. Warm sun, cool breeze.

Thoughts creep. Back to this moment. Alone. Happy. Then sad. Thoughts creep in. Sad year. Sad two years, actually. Back to the moment. Breathe. This is what they talk about. Centered. Focused. Calm.

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